CHAPTER 4: EXPAT
CHAPTER 4: EXPAT
When I used to travel, I wrote letters. The other day, rifling through a box in storage, I found some I had never sent. There were also some notebooks, but those were mostly filled with sketches. Reading those letters now reveals who I used to be. I was happy and optimistic, enjoying the best that life had to offer. I like this version of myself.
But I was also dishonest.
Perhaps the complete letters, the ones I actually sent, saw the world through clear lenses rather than those tinted pink. The ones unsent? They were full of half-truths as if I was ashamed to say that sometimes life can be tough and disappointing, even though I had achieved everything I had planned before taking that first flight abroad.
***
I got drunk on vodka shots at a Ladies’ Night in Georgetown, the evening before my departure to Cologne, Germany. I was completely wasted during the flight itinerary debriefing before leaving Washington, D.C. At that time, I had no idea that I was giving life to the debauchery that would accompany me on several other memorable occasions before the Congress-Bundestag Program for Young Professionals ended a year later.
I don’t mean to give the wrong impression. I’ve never had substance abuse issues. I just mean that I had a tendency to be, at times, a bit careless with the party-girl persona that I’d adopted for my life as an expat.
At that time, I made friends easily. Being thrown into a sea of foreigners at a language school was paradise for someone who loved mingling in international social circles. I had just completed two years of French at university, so I could get by with a strange Franco-German hybrid to communicate with most other students.
The Americans tended to stick together, but I was eager to socialize with cultures I had only read about or seen in movies. African students intrigued me, especially because I was a big fan of African writers like André Gide and Chinua Achebe. At one point, while still in Seattle, I stumbled upon a “Senegalese drum dance” course. It was everything I had hoped it would be: my sweaty limbs moving with wild gestures to the beat of the calf skin on the barrels. In Cologne, I was finally exposed firsthand to the rhythms of a pan-African heartbeat, and I loved it.
I suppose I could go into the details of our conversations. I could describe how my friendships expanded my understanding of colonialism in Africa. The most important thing was this: while, yes, I saw the weight of that history present among my African friends, there was also a lightness in their lives. From them, I learned that extreme poverty and violent political upheaval do not necessarily equate to misery, but they can certainly motivate someone to do whatever it takes to escape it.
My friends were adults, already established in their fields of expertise. I was young by comparison. They were further along in their career paths, while I was a bit lost in this regard.
I admired them. I saw myself as changing the world to make it a better place like they did, but I was taking my time deciding how to apply myself professionally. I believe they recognized my naivety, but they were too kind to nitpick. Or maybe they envied me for it. I’ll never know for sure.
As always, I let those friendships slip through my fingers over time, and we all moved on with our lives elsewhere.
VOCABULARY
storage /ˈstôrij/ space available for storing something
optimistic /ˌäptəˈmistik/ hopeful and confident about the future.
lenses /lenz/ a curved piece of glass, plastic, or other transparent material, used in cameras, glasses.
tinted /ˈtin(t)əd/ slightly colored.
ashamed /əˈSHāmd/ embarrassed or guilty because of one's actions, characteristics, or associations.
itinerary /īˈtinəˌrerē/ a travel document recording a route or journey.
debriefing /dēˈbrēfiNG/ a meeting about a completed mission or undertaking.
debauchery / dɪˈbɔ tʃə ri / extreme indulgence in bodily pleasures and especially sexual pleasures, behavior involving sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. that is often considered immoral.
Congress-Bundestag immersive exchange program jointly offered by the U.S. and German governments.
substance abuse /ˈsəbstəns əˈbyo͞os/ excessive use of a drug in a way that is detrimental to self, society, or both. This definition includes both physical dependence and psychologic dependence.
tendency /ˈtend(ə)nsē/ an inclination toward a particular characteristic or type of behavior.
adopted /əˈdäpt/ choose to take up, follow, or use.
expat /eksˈpātrēət/ an individual living and/or working in a country other than their country of citizenship, often temporarily and for work reasons. An expatriate can also be an individual who has relinquished citizenship in their home country to become a citizen of another.
mingling /ˈmiNGɡ(ə)l/ move freely around a place or at a social function, associating with others.
eager /ˈēɡər/ (of a person) wanting to do or have something very much.
intrigued /inˈtrēɡ/ to interest someone a lot, especially by being strange, unusual, or mysterious.
stumbled /ˈstəmb(ə)l/ find or encounter by chance.
limbs /lim/ an arm or leg of a person or four-legged animal, or a bird's wing.
calf skin /ˈkafˌskin/ leather made from the hide or skin of a calf.
barrels /ˈberəl/ a cylindrical container bludging out in the middle, traditionally made of wooden staves with metal hoops around them.
exposed /ikˈspōzd,ekˈspōzd/ in a vulnerable position or situation.
firsthand /ˌfərstˈhand/ coming from the original source or personal experience; gained or learned directly.
rhythms /ˈriT͟Həm/ the systematic arrangement of musical sounds, principally according to duration and periodic stress.
expanded /ikˈspandəd,ekˈspandəd/ being or having been enlarged or extended.
colonialism /kəˈlōnyəˌlizəm/ the policy or practice of acquiring full or partial political control over another country, occupying it with settlers, and exploiting it economically.
poverty /ˈpävərdē/ the state of being extremely poor or the state of being inferior in quality or insufficient in amount.
upheaval /ˌəpˈhēv(ə)l/ a violent or sudden change or disruption to.
equate /əˈkwāt/ consider (one thing) to be the same as or equivalent to another.
expertise /ˌekˌspərˈtēz/ expert skill or knowledge in a particular field.
comparison /kəmˈperəs(ə)n/ a consideration or estimate of the similarities or dissimilarities between two things or people.
admired /ədˈmī(ə)r/ regard (an object, quality, or person) with respect or warm approval.
naivety /näˈēvədē/ lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment.
nitpick /ˈnitˌpik/ find or point out minor faults in a fussy or pedantic way.
envied /ˈenvē/ desire to have a quality, possession, or other desirable attribute belonging to (someone else).